Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
