I would go down on you faster than GM stock
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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