There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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