i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
