Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
third nipple confirmed
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
