Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
