Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
