i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
