I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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