His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
