Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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