I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
