the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
