I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
