my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
