It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
