i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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