is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
