Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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