so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
