Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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