I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
