Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize