I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
