Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
