His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
This baby is an asshole
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
