This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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