I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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