i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
