yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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