i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
