I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
