His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize