you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
