belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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