I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
