yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
