yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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