my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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