Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
