i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
