he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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