Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
