Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
