i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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