im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
