I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
