I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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