The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
