found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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