even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
