it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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