found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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