Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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