so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
