Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
