There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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