i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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